Confessional <3

[jessica]

So i'm writing this confessional instead of voting because both Kenny and Todd have pissed me off. They keep harrassing me, telling me to vote asap. Especially Todd. So ya know what? They're going to have to wait even longer now. I'm going to do all my homework that I have to do, and I'm going to vote right before I go to bed. Which I suspect will be about two hours from now. I guess thats what ya get for pissing me off.

Although I suppose it would help if I knew who I was going to vote. I know I toldd JT that I wouldn't vote hiim out and force a tie but I'm not sure what i'm going to do. The nice thing is, if JT wins the tie breaker, either way I should be taken to the final two whether or not I win the final immunity challenge. Mainly because JT would take me and I think Kenny would take me over JT. But if Todd stays over Kenny I have a less likely chance of being in the final two because a) Todd will be pissed that I didn't vote out Jt, b) Kenny would probably take Todd over me if he wins it which is very likely since hes good at challenges and c) If Todd wins it, instead of taking me he'd take Kenny because he's pissed about me not voting out JT.

Now i'm not sure if thats exactly how things would go down but I have a feeling I'm probably right. So the fact that i'm being told that I must vote right now, is why I'm just going to make them wait even longer. I know what I want to do and I know what I should do but I guess theres areas of grey too. Because I was aligned with Todd before the game even started cuz we're BFFS from high school, but when I found out who Jt was we instantly made a final two deal and said that we'd go to the end together like we were supposed to in China Divided. Not to mention, I hate to let past games get in the way of how i'm playing current ones but Todd voted myself and another rl friend out of a game once and his reasoning was "I couldn't beat you in the finals." (might I add that he didn't win the game anyways) So I guess I could use this as payback and go back and say "I couldn't beat you in the finals." I told him from the beginning that I was in this game to win it, not be nice and sit back and let people walk all over me. Oh well I guess we'll see what I decide to do.

[jessica]

Oh yeah so now I had pms that I never read, cuz I never read them. But Kenny told me that he'll take me to the final two no matter what. But I dont know if I trust him that much. It's hard to tell if he's being legit. And then JT is so adorable, he sent me a message earlier about how he had come up with a plan for the vote.

[jessica]

OMG I am about to killll Kenny.

[jessica]

SO I'm sure your wondering. Why am I mad at Kennny? Well besides the fact that he's about to have my foot wedged so far up his ass that he'll be sucking my toes til graduation, he told me that he was going to vote Todd, I'd vote JT and then we'd force a tie. THis was our original plan before JT came up with his plan. Now to be completely honest, I am not a trusting person. I will always think that the person is being extra nice to you because of alterior motive, before I will truly believe that somebody actaully wants to be nice to me. So the fact that I was actually going to trust Kenny and go with his plan thinking that it would work and maybe, just maybe this would show that I can trust him in this game... what does he do?! He fucks it up! Now JT is gone, and he hates me.

This is exactly why I wanted to force a tie, because Todd will get over it, JT apparently now hates me. Pretty much told me I'm a dumbass, and Kenny I think is the biggest cunt in this game. At least I know now that I will never trust a thing Kenny tells me, and that he can't be trusted at all. This is the second time hes techincally screwed me in URTV but i'm not getting into that right now.

I have never wanted to win a final challenge more. I want to win the final challenge so that I can vote his cunt ass off this island and watch him cry on the jury because honestly, right now, that's what he fucking deserves.